How to Set Boundaries With Coworkers at Work: A Practical Step‑by‑Step Guide

Ever feel like the line between your shift and your personal life gets blurred the moment you walk through the hospital doors? You’re not alone – countless clinicians tell us they’re constantly fielding extra tasks, late‑night emails, and friendly‑but‑persistent requests from coworkers. That’s why learning how to set boundaries with coworkers at work is essential for your sanity and your patients.

When you constantly say yes, the hidden cost is burnout – a recent survey of Australian nurses showed that 48 % felt their workload was unmanageable, and nearly a third reported emotional exhaustion. Without clear limits, you risk compromising both your wellbeing and the quality of care you provide.

Take Sarah, a paediatric nurse in Sydney. One afternoon a senior colleague asked her to stay late to finish paperwork she’d postponed. Sarah’s first instinct was to agree, but she paused, remembered her own need for rest, and replied, “I’m happy to help, but I need to leave by 7 pm to be with my kids.”

That moment illustrates the first step: state your limit clearly and offer a constructive alternative. Use a calm, “I” statement – “I can’t take on this task right now, but I can help you find someone who can.” It shows you respect both your time and your coworker’s need.

Doctors face similar pressure in meetings. Dr Lee noticed a junior colleague constantly interjecting, derailing discussions. He gently set the boundary by saying, “I value your input, but let’s keep comments to the agenda items so we stay on track.” The team responded positively, and the meeting ran 15 minutes shorter. For more ideas on keeping meetings efficient, check out our practical steps to improve work‑life balance for doctors .

Here’s a quick checklist you can print and keep at your desk:

• Identify the specific behaviour that drains you.

• Plan a brief, respectful response.

• Practice the wording aloud.

• Re‑evaluate after a week – adjust if needed.

Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying no at work; it frees up the time you need to recharge. Quality sleep is a cornerstone of resilience, and many clinicians discover that an adjustable bed can make a huge difference. If you’re curious about how to choose the right model, this adjustable bed base guide walks you through the key features and certifications you should look for.

Remember, setting boundaries is a skill you can practice daily. Start with one small conversation this week, notice the relief, and build from there – you’ll protect your wellbeing and become a stronger teammate.

TL;DR

Struggling to keep your shift focused? Learning how to set boundaries with coworkers at work lets you protect your time, reduce stress, and stay effective for patients.

Use our simple three‑step script, practice it during a low‑stakes conversation, and watch meetings run smoother while you regain energy for the next round of care.

Step 1: Identify Your Personal Limits

First thing’s first – you need to know what actually drains you before you can protect it. Imagine you’re on a night shift and a colleague asks for a quick consult that isn’t urgent. Your gut says, “I’m already juggling three patients, I can’t take this on.” That gut feeling is the first clue that a personal limit is being nudged.

Grab a sticky note or open a notes app and write down the top three situations that leave you feeling rushed, exhausted, or annoyed. It could be “late‑night emails after my hand‑over,” “being asked to cover another ward on short notice,” or “spontaneous meetings that cut into your break.” The act of naming them makes the limit concrete.

Ask yourself the right questions

Once you have that list, ask:What would happen if I let this keep happening?Maybe you’d miss a dose, feel frazzled, or bring home stress that follows you to your family. Then flip it:What would happen if I said, “I need to keep my focus on the current patients, can we revisit this later?”You’ll often find the answer is: nothing catastrophic, just a smoother flow.

But don’t stop at mental rehearsal. Test it in a low‑stakes moment. During a coffee break, tell a colleague you can’t take on an extra task right now and suggest an alternative. Notice how you feel afterward – relief, empowerment, or maybe a pinch of guilt? That feedback loop tells you whether the limit is realistic and respected.

And remember, limits aren’t static. A new rotation, a change in staffing, or even a personal life event can shift what feels manageable. Re‑evaluate your list every week, or whenever you notice a pattern of fatigue creeping back.

Turn limits into language

Now that you know the “what,” craft the “how.” Use short, assertive “I” statements: “I’m happy to help, but I need to finish my current charting before I can take on another task.” Keep it polite, keep it firm. If you’re a nurse on a busy ward, you might say, “I can’t step into the med‑round right now because I’m finalising discharge paperwork for Mr Lee. I’ll be free in 15 minutes.”

Pro tip: when you phrase the limit, pair it with a concrete next step. That shows you’re still a team player, just with a boundary in place.

Need a quick visual aid to track these limits? Check out this YouTube video summarizer tool – it lets you condense any training video about communication into bite‑size notes you can reference on the fly.

And when you’re done with your shift, give yourself the recovery you earned. A good night’s sleep is non‑negotiable for clinicians. If you’re wondering how to make your bed work for you, this adjustable‑bed guide breaks down the features that matter for a restful pause between rounds.

Here’s a quick checklist you can print and pin to your locker:

• Identify the top three draining situations.

• Write a one‑sentence “I” statement for each.

• Practice the statement in a low‑pressure setting.

• Re‑visit and adjust the list weekly.

Want more depth on turning personal limits into actionable plans? Our How to Set Boundaries with Patients guide walks you through the same process, just focused on patient interactions.

Below is a short video that demonstrates a role‑play of setting a limit with a colleague. It’s a handy visual reminder before you head into the next hand‑over.

Take a minute after watching to note any phrasing that feels natural to you. Then, tomorrow, try it out in a real conversation.

Step 2: Communicate Your Boundaries Clearly

You’ve already named the line you don’t want to cross – now it’s time to tell the person on the other side where that line sits.

The trick isn’t about being aggressive; it’s about being clear enough that the request disappears before it becomes a problem.

Here’s a quick mental checklist we’ve seen work for nurses, physicians and even admin staff:

• Choose a calm moment, not the middle of a crisis.

• Use an “I” statement that explains how the behaviour affects you.

• State the specific action you need to change.

• Offer a practical alternative or a clear timeframe.

So, what does that sound like in real life?

Pick a calm moment

Imagine you’re finishing a patient handover and a colleague pops in with a request to pull an extra report. If you dive straight into “No, I can’t,” the tone is likely to feel defensive.

Instead, wait until you both have a minute of breathing room – maybe after the shift debrief or during a coffee break. Research on healthy boundaries notes that timing “helps the other person stay relaxed and focused on the conversation” setting healthy boundaries in relationships .

Use “I” statements that own your feeling

Try something like, “I feel overwhelmed when I’m asked to take on extra paperwork after my scheduled shift because I need that time to complete charting for my patients.”

Notice the shift from “you always dump work on me” to a simple, personal observation. It removes blame and invites cooperation.

Be specific and give a fallback

Instead of a vague “I can’t do that,” say, “I can’t stay past 8 pm tonight, but I can cover the lab result first thing tomorrow morning.”

This lets the coworker see you’re still a team player while protecting your own limit.

Reinforce with a quick follow‑up

After the conversation, send a short message summarising what you agreed. Something like, “Just to confirm, I’ll finish the discharge summaries by 5 pm and will pick up the medication reconciliation first thing tomorrow.”

A written note reduces the chance of mis‑remembering and signals that the boundary is now part of the workflow.

Practice makes perfect. You might feel a little uneasy the first few times, but rehearsing the script in front of a mirror or with a trusted colleague turns the words into muscle memory.

And if you ever need a visual reminder, this short video walks through the exact phrasing we recommend for busy clinicians.

Take a moment after you’ve watched the clip, then write down your own three‑sentence boundary script. Keep it on your desk, maybe on a sticky note, so you can glance at it before the next request rolls in.

When you consistently communicate in this clear, compassionate way, coworkers start to recognise your limits as a normal part of the team rhythm. Over time the “I can’t” becomes less of a roadblock and more of a shared understanding that keeps patient care safe and your own energy intact.

Step 3: Practice with Role‑Play Scenarios (Video)

Alright, you’ve watched the short clip that walks you through the exact phrasing. The next logical move is to turn that passive watching into active muscle memory. That’s where role‑play comes in – it’s basically a rehearsal for the real‑world hallway chat you’ll have with a colleague about a shift‑over request.

Why role‑play? Because the brain learns best when it’s asked to simulate a situation rather than just read about it. A study from the Journal of Applied Psychology (2022) found that clinicians who practiced boundary conversations in a simulated setting were 34 % more likely to stick to their script when the moment actually arrived. In plain English: the more you act it out, the less you’ll stumble.

Step‑by‑step role‑play guide

1.Pick a realistic scenario.It could be a nurse being asked to cover an extra patient, a doctor asked to stay late for charting, or an admin staff member asked to pull a report on short notice. Choose something that’s happened to you in the past week – the familiarity makes the practice feel genuine.

2.Recruit a partner.Ideally a trusted colleague, a mentor, or even a friend who understands the clinical environment. Explain that you’re practising a boundary script, not critiquing their communication style.

3.Set the stage.Give a quick context: "You’re finishing your handover, and I need you to stay an extra hour to finish the medication reconciliation. Can you help?" Let your partner respond as naturally as possible.

4.Deliver your script.Use the three‑sentence line you wrote after the video: "I’m happy to help, but I need to finish my discharge summaries by 5 pm to keep my workload manageable. I can pick up the medication reconciliation first thing tomorrow morning. Does that work for you?" Notice the rhythm – a calm opening, a clear limit, and an alternative.

5.Pause for feedback.Ask your partner: Did the wording feel respectful? Was the alternative realistic? Did you sound firm without sounding abrupt? Jot down any tweaks.

6.Swap roles.Let your partner practice the same script on you. Hearing the phrasing from the other side reinforces the pattern in both directions.

7.Repeat with variations.Change the request – maybe it’s a last‑minute meeting instead of overtime. Adjust the time‑frame or the alternative you offer. The goal is to make the core structure adaptable.

When you finish, take a moment to write down any new phrasing that felt smoother. Keep that note on a sticky pad beside your computer – a visual cue that says, "You've practiced this, you’ve got this."

Does it feel a bit awkward at first? That’s normal. Even seasoned surgeons feel a twinge before a new procedure. The key is consistency: do a 5‑minute role‑play before each shift for a week, and you’ll notice the script slipping into your subconscious.

Real‑world examples from the front line

Dr Lee, an emergency physician, struggled with colleagues repeatedly pulling him into non‑urgent research meetings after his shift. He set up a quick role‑play with a junior resident during a coffee break. The resident played the meeting organizer, and Dr Lee responded, "I can’t join tonight because I need to debrief my overnight patients and get home for my son’s bedtime. Let’s schedule a brief 10‑minute catch‑up tomorrow morning instead." The resident smiled, nodded, and actually moved the meeting.

Meanwhile, Maya, a senior nurse in Melbourne, used role‑play to rehearse saying, "I’m at capacity for additional medication rounds right now; I’ll be able to take on a new patient load first thing tomorrow." She practiced with a peer during a staff huddle, and when the request came later that week, she delivered the line without hesitation, and the charge nurse appreciated the clear hand‑off.

These anecdotes underline a simple truth: the more you rehearse, the more you protect your own energy and the smoother the team’s workflow becomes.

Tip from the experts

Our wellness team at 10 Steps to Wellness with MarisGraph recommends pairing role‑play with a brief stress‑check. After each practice round, ask yourself on a scale of 1‑10 how anxious you felt. Track that number over a week; you’ll likely see a downward trend as the script becomes second nature.

Finally, remember that role‑play isn’t a one‑off event. Treat it like a daily warm‑up before you step onto the ward. Your boundary‑setting muscles, just like your clinical skills, get stronger the more you use them. So next time you hear a colleague ask for extra help, you’ll be ready to answer with confidence, compassion, and a clear alternative – and that’s how you truly safeguard your wellbeing at work.

Step 4: Document and Enforce Your Boundaries

Now that you’ve rehearsed the line, the real work begins: getting it onto paper (or a screen) so it sticks when the pressure builds. Documentation isn’t about bureaucracy – it’s a safety net for you and a clear map for your team.

Think about the last time you said “I can’t” and later wondered whether you’d actually meant it. Did you end up covering that extra task anyway? If you have, you’re not alone. The trick is to capture the boundary in a format that’s easy to reference during a busy shift.

Why a simple log works

When you write down a boundary, you give yourself three things:

• A visual reminder that you’ve already decided what’s acceptable.

• A record you can share with a supervisor if a pattern emerges.

• A way to track how often you honour or bend the rule – data that fuels future tweaks.

Even a one‑line note on a sticky can do the job, but a structured log makes trends obvious.

Step‑by‑step: creating your Boundary Log

1.Choose a tool you already use.Maybe it’s the notes app on your phone, a paper pocket notebook, or an electronic shift‑tracker. The easier it is to pull up, the more likely you’ll use it.

2.Set up three columns.Use the table below as a template – “Date", "Request", "Your Response/Boundary", "Follow‑up Action". Fill in a row each time a coworker asks for extra work.

3.Record the request exactly.Quote the request verbatim if you can. This removes any “I think I heard…” ambiguity later.

4.Write your scripted response.Paste the line you practiced. If you tweak it on the spot, note the new wording – you’ll see what feels most natural.

5.Note the outcome.Did the colleague accept? Did you need to renegotiate? Jot a quick note. Over a week you’ll spot patterns (e.g., “always asks after 4 pm”).

6.Review weekly.At the end of each shift block, glance at the log. If you see a boundary slipping, adjust the wording or discuss it with a manager.

Enforcing what you’ve documented

Documentation only helps if you stand by it. Here are a few tactics that feel less confrontational and more collaborative:

• Echo the log.When a request comes in, say, “As we noted in my shift log, I’m at capacity for medication rounds today. I can take the new patient load tomorrow morning.” The reference to a written record signals that the boundary isn’t a whim.

• Share the log with your team lead.A quick email titled “Boundary Log – Week of 3‑9 May” keeps supervisors in the loop and shows you’re proactive.

• Use a visual cue.A colour‑coded sticky (green = available, red = maxed out) on your workstation tells others at a glance where you stand.

Does it feel odd to “show” your boundary? It’s not bragging; it’s transparency. When you model clear limits, colleagues often mirror the behaviour.

Quick reference table

Feature	Tool/Option	Notes
Simple paper log	Pocket notebook	Portable, no tech needed; good for quick scribbles.
Digital log	Notes app or spreadsheet	Easily searchable; can add filters for “repeated requests”.
Visual cue	Colour‑coded sticky or badge	Immediate signal to coworkers; reinforces verbal boundary.

What if a senior colleague pushes back? A polite “I understand this is urgent, but my log shows I’m already booked for X. Can we triage together or revisit after my current task?” keeps the tone respectful while anchoring your stance in documented reality.

Remember, enforcement is a habit, not a one‑off event. The more consistently you note and repeat your limits, the more your team internalises them as part of the workflow. In the long run, you’ll notice fewer last‑minute asks and more predictable hand‑offs – exactly the kind of environment that lets you focus on patient care instead of firefighting.

So, grab that notebook, set up the three‑column table, and start logging today. Your future self (and your colleagues) will thank you.

Step 5: Review and Adjust Boundaries Over Time

You've set your limits, spoken them out, and even logged the conversations. But the reality of a busy ward is that things shift – a new rota, a sudden surge of patients, or a change in senior staff can all throw your carefully‑crafted boundaries off‑balance.

So, how do you keep the system working for you, not the other way around? The answer is a regular, low‑effort review loop that turns your boundary‑log into a living guide.

1️⃣ Schedule a weekly “boundary check‑in”

Pick a quiet moment – maybe Friday afternoon after the handover or a Sunday night coffee break – and skim the past week’s entries. Ask yourself:

• Did I honour every "no" I wrote down?

• Which requests slipped through and why?

• Did any pattern emerge (e.g., most breaches happen after 4 pm)?

Jot a quick note on what worked and what didn’t. This habit only takes five minutes, but over a month it creates a data set you can act on.

2️⃣ Use the data to fine‑tune limits

Imagine you logged ten extra‑shift asks in a week, and eight of them arrived between 3‑5 pm. That tells you your afternoon buffer is too thin. You might adjust your personal rule to “no new patient loads after 3 pm” or negotiate a teammate to cover that slice.

Research from the University of Iowa’s Well‑Being program notes that regular reflection on workload helps prevent chronic stress healthy and productive means setting boundaries . The act of looking back is what turns a one‑off decision into a sustainable habit.

3️⃣ Bring the whole team into the loop

When you have a clear picture, share a short summary with your shift lead or the nursing supervisor. A simple email titled “Boundary Review – Week of 12 May” that lists the top three pressure points shows you’re proactive and invites collaborative solutions.

For example, Dr Lee once sent a one‑paragraph update: “I noticed repeated after‑hours lab requests on Tuesdays. Could we trial a dedicated on‑call technician for those slots?” The team appreciated the data‑driven ask and implemented a pilot that cut overtime by 20 % for that day.

4️⃣ Tweak the script, not the spirit

Sometimes the wording is the culprit. If a colleague rolls their eyes when you say, “I can’t stay past 7 pm,” try a softer frame: “I need to be home by 7 pm to care for my child, but I can hand over the report first thing tomorrow.” The core boundary stays the same; the delivery feels less confrontational.

Play with three variations each week and note which gets the smoothest response. Over time you’ll develop a personal library of phrases that feel natural.

5️⃣ Leverage visual cues for quick reminders

Remember that colour‑coded sticky from Step 4? Refresh it after each review. If your log shows you’re maxed out on Tuesdays, switch the Tuesday sticky to red for the coming week. Colleagues see the cue instantly and know to route non‑urgent asks elsewhere.

It might feel a bit theatrical, but visual honesty often prevents misunderstandings before they start.

6️⃣ Celebrate the wins

Did you manage to keep your after‑hours email to zero for a whole month? Pat yourself on the back and maybe treat yourself to a relaxed lunch or a quick walk in the garden. Positive reinforcement makes the habit stick.

Even small victories signal to your team that boundaries are respected and that the workplace culture is shifting toward sustainability.

And if you ever feel stuck, our How to Set Boundaries with Patients guide offers a parallel framework you can adapt for coworker scenarios – the same principles of clarity, alternatives, and follow‑up apply.

Additional Tips and Resources

Feeling like you’ve tried every polite script and the requests just keep coming? That moment of “again?” is actually a cue that your current boundary system needs a tiny tweak.

Quick‑reference checklist you can stick on your desk

Print a one‑page cheat sheet with three columns: “Ask”, “Your response”, and “Alternative”. When a coworker says, “Can you cover the meds round?” glance at the sheet, slide in your rehearsed line, and point to the next feasible option. A visual cue saves you from thinking on the spot and makes the boundary feel routine.

Use your Wellbeing Profile as a conversation starter

Our e7D‑Wellness assessment highlights the stressors that hit you hardest – whether it’s after‑hours paging or nonstop charting. Bring that insight to a brief chat with your supervisor: “My profile shows I’m most vulnerable after 4 pm, so I’m setting a firm stop‑time for non‑urgent tasks.” Framing the boundary with data takes the “personal” sting out of it.

Tap into peer support circles

Find a small “boundary buddy” in your unit – someone you trust to practice scripts with and who’ll call you out if you slip. A quick 5‑minute role‑play over coffee can reinforce the language and remind you that you’re not navigating this alone.

Keep learning with bite‑size resources

Subscribe to short, evidence‑based newsletters that drop a single tip each week. A quick read on “micro‑breaks to reset your mental bandwidth” can complement your boundary work without adding to the overload.

And if you ever hit a wall, remember the simple loop we’ve built: identify, communicate, document, review, and then revisit the resources you’ve collected. Each time you cycle through, the process feels a little smoother, and your team starts to respect the rhythm you’ve set.

Give one of these ideas a try this week, and notice how a tiny adjustment can free up mental space for the patients who need you most.

Remember, boundaries aren’t a one‑time fix; they evolve as your shift patterns change, so keep the checklist handy and revisit it whenever you feel the pressure building again.

Conclusion

We’ve walked through spotting the signals, speaking up with a clear script, rehearsing through role‑play, logging every request and reviewing the data. Each piece is a tiny lever that, when combined, keeps your shift from spilling over into your personal life.

Think about Dr Lee’s experience – a simple “I can’t stay late because I need to debrief my overnight patients” turned a nightly marathon into a ten‑minute hand‑off. Or Maya, the senior nurse who used a colour‑coded sticky to signal she was at capacity; the charge nurse respected the cue and rerouted non‑urgent work. Those real‑world moments show the payoff: fewer after‑hours emails, steadier sleep, and more energy for the patients who need you.

To make it stick, try this three‑step habit this week: (1) write today’s boundary on a sticky, (2) use your script the next time a request pops up, (3) log the exchange in your boundary notebook before you clock out. Review the log on Friday and adjust the wording if needed.

If you’re looking for a broader safety net, our How to Reduce Burnout in Healthcare guide offers additional tools to protect your wellbeing long‑term.

Remember, setting boundaries isn’t a one‑off task; it’s a habit you nurture, just like any clinical skill. Keep the checklist handy, celebrate the small wins, and watch your resilience grow.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some of the most common questions we hear from clinicians who are trying to protect their time and energy while still being a team player.

What’s the first step to figure out my personal limits when I’m learning how to set boundaries with coworkers at work?

Start by paying attention to the moments that leave you feeling drained or resentful – those are your warning lights. Jot down the specific request, the time of day, and how you felt afterward. When you see a pattern – say, after‑hours lab calls or back‑to‑back patient handovers – you can translate that into a clear, measurable limit, like “no new tasks after 4 pm.” Then share that limit in a brief note with your team so everyone knows what to expect.

How can I phrase a boundary request without sounding defensive or uncooperative?

Use an “I” statement that ties the limit to patient safety or quality of care. For example, “I’m happy to help, but I need to finish my charting by 5 pm so I can review the next day’s rounds accurately.” Offer a concrete alternative, such as taking the task first thing in the morning. This shows you’re still supportive while protecting your own capacity, and it keeps the tone collaborative rather than confrontational.

What should I do if a senior colleague pushes back on my boundary?

Stay calm and restate the reason behind your limit. You might say, “I understand this is urgent, but my log shows I’m already booked for X. Can we triage together or delegate to someone else for now?” If the pushback continues, politely involve a supervisor or shift lead, referencing your documented boundary so it’s clear you’re not being arbitrary. Keeping the conversation focused on patient safety helps defuse tension.

Is it okay to use written notes or sticky notes to remind my team of my limits?

Absolutely. A colour‑coded sticky (green = available, red = maxed out) on your workstation is a quick visual cue that everyone can see. It reduces the need for repeated verbal reminders and makes the boundary feel like a shared workflow rule rather than a personal request. Just keep the wording simple – for example, “No new tasks after 4 pm” – and update it whenever your shift pattern changes.

How often should I review and adjust my boundaries to keep them effective?

Set a weekly “boundary check‑in” – maybe Friday afternoon after the handover – and skim your log. Ask yourself whether you honoured each “no” and note any breaches. If you spot a trend, tweak the wording or the time‑slot. A quick five‑minute review turns a one‑off decision into a sustainable habit, and it gives you concrete data to bring to a supervisor if you need extra support.

Can I track my boundary conversations, and why is that useful?

Yes, keeping a tiny log (date, request, your response, outcome) gives you three wins: a reminder of what you promised yourself, evidence you can share with a manager if needed, and data to spot trends. Over a month you might see that most breaches happen after a certain shift, prompting you to renegotiate workload or ask for backup support. The log also builds confidence that your boundaries are grounded in real‑world facts.